Alive!
I have a great feeling today.
I finished once for all the problem with Indian Embasy. A lot of demons were there. I have never been more happy in my entire life when i didn’t get a visa. I will go to India but not now. I will know when it is time.
Last night my team had a drink with Jarda (the CEE director). I ended up in my pijamas at the airport saing goodbye to somebody that i will probably never see. And like a friend of a friend said „Let’s face it. We are never ever going to see each other again”.
Tomorrow I leave for a AIESEC Iasi conference. It’s my home but I haven’t been at a conference since I was an EB member. It is going to be really special.
After that I have the National Congress. The conference I am going to finish my MC term. Ohhhh boy..it is going to be tuff. Really tuff to let go AIESEC. But I don’t have to think about that right now. I still have one week
Today, now, I love the music I listen in my car that reminds me of somebody and moments, I love the sun. And all of you that know me, know that I love flowers. Guess what? I have a big bunch of lilies on my desk. And a very very big smile on my face.
I am so happy that I feel I can’t handle it. Like I am going to explode.
I am alive and enjoying what is happening, and this is what matters most.
I am alive!
Gift
Today I got an unexpected gift. A scarab.
" The scarab is the symbol of Ra, the Sun God of the Egyptians. In his scarab aspect, Ra was called Khepera.
Scarab beetles lay their eggs in dung, which they roll into a ball and roll into a hole. The Egyptians equated this with the movement of the sun and its daily resurrection. The opening and closing of the scarab's colorful wings symbolized night and day.
A scarabaeid beetle, especially Scarabaeus sacer, regarded as sacred by the ancient Egyptians.
A representation of this beetle, such as a ceramic or stone sculpture or a cut gem, used in ancient Egypt as a talisman and a symbol of the soul. Also called scarabaeus.
Scarab amulets were often placed over the heart of the mummified deceased. These "heart scarabs" (such as the one pictured above) were meant to be weighed against the feather of truth during the final judgment. The amulets were often inscribed with a spell from the Book of the Dead which entreated the heart to, "do not stand as a witness against me."”
I guess everything happens for a reason. There are a lot of clues. You just have to see them.
9
"Deoarece nouã este simbolul idealismului, al nobleţei sentimentelor, al sublimãrii instinctelor. Simbolizeazã accesul la primul grad al cunoaşterii divine. Are valoare ritualã. Nouã este mãsura gestaţiilor, a cãutãrilor fructuoase şi simbolizeazã încununarea eforturilor, desãvârşirea unei creaţii.
Drumul numãrului nouã este un drum al evadãrii; este marele şi minunatul drum al celor ce ştiu sã-şi punã la lucru imaginaţia. Cei care vor urma acest drum vor face cãlãtorii deosebite, iniţiatice, vor descoperi lumi diferite, la propriu şi la figurat. El este „în afara timpului”, în „illlo tempore”. Cei care urmeazã drumul numãrului nouã sunt aproape întotdeauna visãtori.
În ciclul evoluţiei normale a vieţii, numãrul nouã reprezintã atingerea perfecţiunii materiale superioare. Nouã este intelectul, cunoaşterea obţinutã prin utilizarea intelectului ca instrument al spiritului şi în consecinţã, credinţa, devenitã convingere.
Nouã este una din ciferele sferelor cereşti. În mod simetric este şi cifra cercurilor din infern. Astfel intervalul de nouã nopţi reprezintã o perioadã limitã în care se poate realiza transcederea sau cãderea, se poate atinge perfecţiunea sau individul se poate reîntoarce la mediocritate. Pe o axã a temporalitãţii, intervalul de nouã nopţi ar reprezenta originea, aflându-se la egalã distanţã de minus infinit şi de plus infinit. Astfel personajele trãiesc aceste nopţi la limita dintre transcendenţã şi cãdere.
Dacã la Dante nouã este cifra Cerului, ea este şi cea a Beatricei, ea însãşi un simbol al dragostei. El şi Ea pot fi ipostaze arhetipale ale lui Dante şi ale Beatricei. Cãci Ea îl conduce pe El pe calea cunoaşterii şi iubirii absolute la fel cum Beatrice îl conduce pe Dante prin Infern.
Totodatã parcurgerea celor nouã nopţi poate echivala cu coborârea celor 9 trepte ezoterice. Coborârea acestora fãrã a cãdea înseamnã a-ţi fi ţinut în frâu simţurile. Nouã este şi cifra care, corespunzând celor 9 deschideri ale omului, simbolizeazã cãile acestuia de comunicare cu lumea. Existã astfel credinţa celor nouã ceruri sau nouã etape pe care trebuie sã le parcurgã sufletul pentru a dobândi pacea veşnicã.
Pe de altã parte nouã este şi cifra sacrã a zeiţei luna, luna privitã ca astru al nopţii. Noaptea este fiica Haosului şi mama Cerului. Ea a dat naştere somnului şi morţii, viselor şi spaimelor, duioşiei şi înşelãciunii. Concluzia este una singurã: contopirea personajelor este una de naturã transcedentalã încât epifania lor contureazã o lume irealã, o lume paralelã, o lume abstactã, o lume a visului.
Totodatã tradiţia indianã precizeazã şi accepţia de izbãvire a simbolului nouã, cu cele nouã încarnãri succesive ale lui Vishnu, care de fiecare datã se sacrificã spre salvarea oamenilor.
Cifra nouã este în mod specific şi cifra simbolicã a lucrurilor terestre şi nocturne. Este legatã de divinitãţile nopţii, ale infernului şi ale morţii. Apare drept numãrul complet al analizei totale. El este simbolul multiplicitãţii ce se înapoiazã la unitate şi, prin extensie, al solidaritãţii cosmice şi al mântuirii.
Trei fiind numãrul novator, pãtratul lui reprezintã universalitatea. Este semnificativ faptul cã repetiţia lui nouã exprima infinitul, supranaturalul."
Waltz
It is a quite sophisticated dance. You have to keep your posture straight, hands and fingers in a certain position and your head has to learn a little bit backwards. The steps are quite rigid also. They combine two tempos, a slow and a fast one. First step is slow, followed by two fast ones.
Still. Besides the apparent strictness of the gender you have a feeling of freedom while dancing it. It can turn wild if you let yourself into it. It is a special dance, especially for the romantic ones.
Lately I feel like I am continuously dancing waltz. I am having both hectic moments and calm ones. Both of them are intense. It seems that there is no middle way.
Somebody, not long ago told me that I am a very rigid person, that doesn’t have the ability to love. As the waltz I guess I can be rigid but if I let myself loose in the rhythm I start feeling free.
This is how I feel right now. I am free to discover me, I am free to discover others, I am free to have special moments.
And I have this waltz that is constantly in my head, obsessively repeating itself. Spinning, spinning, spinning … and the song on the background …and that look.
Lilies
Is there room in my heart
For you to follow your heart
And not need more blood
From the trip of your star
Smell of lilies in my head
Smell of lilies in my heart
“On the surface simplicity
Swirling black lilies totally ripe
But the darkest pit in me
It's pagan poetry
Swirling black lilies totally ripe
Pagan poetry
Swirling black lilies totally ripe
A secret code carved”
See you on the bench of lilies.
Growing
„Imagination is more important than Knowledge” (Einstein)
Today I heard this quote and I found it brilliant. We strive to know more and more about the things around us. Not long ago somebody told me that one has to deny all the actual truths in order to pass to a next level of understanding things. I think that what we consider to be knowledge now, was actually imagination at a certain point in time.
The problem nowadays is that we get stuck so much in the system and we forget about imagination. We stop analyzing what we do, why we do it. We stop trying to explain ourselves the meaning of things at other dimensions. We are so occupied with the things that make our ego feel better and we forget who we truly are.
Of course knowledge is important but if you don’t associate it with imagination is useless.
Orange fresh.
„El si Ea in penumbra. Poate ca tocmai au facut dragoste si acum se odihnesc asezati pe jos, spate in spate, cu capetele sprijinite unul de altul. Ea mananca boabe de struguri... El tine o tigara neaprinsa in gura si o bricheta in mana.
Ea: Spune a.
El: A.
Ea: Mai tandru...
El: A.
Ea: Spune a ca si cum ai spune ca ma iubesti.
El: A.
Ea: Spune a ca si cand ai spune ca nu ai sa ma uiti niciodata.
El: A
Ea: Spune a ca si cand ai spune ca esti un dobitoc.
El: A.
Ea: Spune a ca si cum mi-ai spune dezbraca-te.
El: A.
Ea: Spune a ca sa-mi spui ca nu vrei sa ma mai vezi niciodata.
El: A.
Ea: Nu, n-ai spus bine... Cere-mi si tu mie sa spun a.
El: A.
Ea: Spune a in gand.
El: ...
Ea: Mai tare. Si mai clar ca sa-l pot capta.
El: ...
Ea: Acum spune a in gand ca si cum ai spune ca ma iubesti.
El: ...
Ea: Spune a in gand ca si cand ai spune ca nu ai sa ma uiti niciodata.
El: ...
Ea: Spune a in gand ca si cum mi-ai spune dezbraca-te.
El: ...
Ea: Spune a in gand ca sa-mi spui ca nu vrei sa ma mai vezi niciodata.
El: ...
Ea: ...
El: ...
Ea: ...
El: ..."
Dry lips
The light is green,
Lilies taste the air,
Steps follow the white tulips,
Words look at the sun,
A tea,
A look,
A song in the background,
A book that was not read,
I look up.
A?
A..
Aaaaa...
The beautiful travel of the panda bears told by a saxophonist who had a girlfriend in Frankfurt.
"De Vis"
My friends...could be for life time
Lights
Lappuntamneto
She sleeps with butterflies and in the morning she kisses the fresh air
She can be cruel...she doesn’t know why...it is just...her
What is the sound of sorry?
A laugh ..a tear and the light always there
Why is she special. is her laugh?
Are he eyes?
Is her sound?
Is the fact that she doesn’t know the way?
One, two, three days and we are off
But the heart still stays the same
With Prague on her back, Amsterdam, Wien....a bite of the rest of the world
She doesn’t know her way at all
And you’re coming home for sure
Are you still looking for...
For something to light up...to make you feel ...just feel
You say that you don’t want it
But still you are not running away
But you don’t really mean it
Don’t run to me now
Say that you don’t want it
Just say it
If i’ll let you down?
Would it be different?
Somewhere over the rainbow...would she find her way?
Would it be safe? ...would it be life?
Would she find herself...in the light?
The joy of living would it be the same?
Questions ...questions...
Will,
Will I?
Me,
Them,
Just be!
And you will be Life!!!
Would I be different
What are these words about?
I don’t want to know
Cause I forget.
C’erras possible alors?
